Happy Smiles Corporation – Letters Program

Feeling depressed? Need a laugh? Do you want a bit more adventure in your life? Wish you had a girlfriend?

Happy Smiles Corporation has the perfect solution- why not read other people’s mail! We know it sounds crazy, but there could not be a better way to start your day!

Larry Morrisby never knew his wife was sending love letters to his brother until he signed up for our program!

HSC has “connections” in the government, and as a result we pledge to give all our customers letters from other people! For the insanely, pitifully inexpensive price of only $19.95, you can get a letter from a complete stranger!

If you feel like the ultimate loser, then just read this letter from Henry Johnson, London, UK, as he pleads with his girlfriend to come back for him!

Need a bit of excitement? Then read this thrilling letter from “Your Friendly Local Godfather” to Samantha Smith, telling her that if she doesn’t pay the ransom money for her child he’ll have a finger chopped off and mailed to her every day! And it includes the first finger!

Want some romance in your life, ladies (and maybe gentlemen)? Then we’ll give you the secret love letters between Sam Ribbons and Maria Vincetti! They’re married… to other people!

Vincent was very interested in what racy things Scarlett had to say to her lover!

So, come on, folks! What are you waiting for! Dial 1800-HAPPY SMILES LETTERS WHICH ARE AWESOME AND COOL SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR C’MON-000!!!