Gordon Brown: Sexy PM or Sexiest PM?

So apparently “New Woman Magazine” thinks that Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, is one of the100 Sexiest Men, up there with Jonny Depp and Daniel Craig. I have to agree. I mean, look at him:

He is surely among the world’s sexiest men. He totally has the Scottish zombie look that chicks dig down completely.

But it got me thinking… What other national leaders could qualify? Which other politicians deserve to be listed amongst the world’s sexiest men (or women I guess, but there are about three female heads of government/heads of state). So, looking back at the year, I present: Poirot’s Political Love List 2007 (or PPLL07).

George W. Bush – American President

Don’t misunderestimate this President. He has a sweet upper-class Texan look about him, and he has the cutest speech mannerisms! In between fighting a War on Terror he fights a War on Unsatisification (and he doesn’t care if that’s not a word), which involves him naked, a chastity belt and a beaver. He’s proud to be an American, he’s proud that he somehow ended up leading the world’s hyperpower, and he’s proud that he’s so damn handsome.

Man, I wish this Weapon of Mass Seduction could bomb my Baghdad.

Hu Jintao – Chinese President

Who? Hu! (sorry)

This is one red you’ll want in your bed. There are a billion Chinese people in the world, so we should all be very thankful that the best-looking of them all was made President- but then, that might be why he was made President.

I give him ten red stars out of five.

Than Shwe – Burmese Senior General

I doubt Orwellian politics has ever been so sexy. His medals look nice, but he’d look nicer not wearing them. Or anything else. In between locking up Burmese monks and protecting democracy from those nasty democrats, I hear he has a certain fondness for whipped cream.

Perves Musharraf – President of Pakistan

He’s good at suspending the Pakistani Constitution- I think he’s even better at suspending people against the wall. And look, he brought you flowers.

Stephen Harper – Canadian Prime Minister

This guy can do, um, Canadian stuff. Like hockey. Bed hockey.

wink wink nudge nudge know what im sayin know what im sayin

Nicolas Sakozy – French President

He’s French. C’mon.

And he doesn’t just do French kisses. He does Australian kisses too. Like French kisses, but Down Under.

Vladimir Putin – Russian President

Oh, man. He’s like a kickass combination of Joe Stalin and Iron Man. See that water around him? He didn’t get wet. The water got Putinized. I heard he was the son of an unstopable force and an unmovable object.

John Howard – Australian Prime Minister

Well, he was PM for *most* of the year. He got booted out in November.

But he is the epitome of sexiness. Look at his eyebrows. My mum always said that the hottest kinds of eyebrows are the ones that look like fat caterpillars. And he’s probably a passionate lover. In fact, you might even say he goes overboard. And his “close” relationship with George W. Bush probably means he got in lots of practice.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad – Iranian President

His vast reserves of oil are matched only be his vast reserves of love (and Saudi Arabia’s vast reserves of oil). Good thing there aren’t any homosexuals in Iran, cause this guy has a long line of ladies who want him.

More coming soon…