Yellow Submarine

Not the song, the movie.

Easily the most trippy movie I have ever seen.

It’s an animated movie about a land called Pepperland which is destroyed by the “Blue Meanies” (the Meanies achieve this by using giant apples and a large floating glove). Young Fred, captain of the Yellow Submarine, then travels to Liverpool, and enlists the help of The Beatles.

That’s basically the plot. The rest is nothing more than a crazed animated drug trip with Beatles songs. It predates MTV by several decades, essentially inventing music videos.

And it is awesome.

Really, I don’t know how to describe it. Just search for clips on Youtube, or get the video/dvd, or whatver. But find a way to see it.

Dream Chaser

Title: Dream Chaser
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
Genre: Supernatural Romance

When a romance novel contains as much hokey dialogue and deus ex machinas as this, it better have some damn good sex scenes to make up for it.

The Visitation

Title: The Visitation
Director: Robby Henson
Year: 2006
Rating: PG-13

The Visitation in a nutshell: A small town is enraptured by the presence of a young man with healing powers, played by greasy-faced, rat’s-nest haired Edward Furlong. Edward fuckin’ Furlong, folks.

Gsus luvz u, say church leaders

Bill Bowtime, The Daily Trudgeon

Christianity needs to re-vamp itself and make it more modern to compete “wit teh hordz of izlam lol”, according to a recent text message sent to many church-goers.

Happy Smiles Corporation – Letters Program

Feeling depressed? Need a laugh? Do you want a bit more adventure in your life? Wish you had a girlfriend?

Happy Smiles Corporation has the perfect solution- why not read other people’s mail! We know it sounds crazy, but there could not be a better way to start your day!

Fitna.

The anti-Muslim film Fitna has been released onto the web by far right Dutch Politician Wilders. I have to say, it’s particularly disturbing. Not because it convinced me of the evil Arab conspiracy to rule the world, but because it seems like something the Nazis could have made.

It quotes selectively from the Qu’ran. In the sense that, it only quotes from one section of the Qu’ran (“Surah”). And it splices it up with movie footage of Islamist fundamentalists ranting about how they are going to kill Jews and Westerners.

Now, if this was a movie against Islamic theocracy then this would be fine. But it’s not. It says that *all* Muslims are anti-Semetic terrorists, which is fairly obviously a pile of bullshit.

You could make a video like this for *any* faith. For example, Catholicism. Just take a few isolated paragraphs from the Bible, scenes of the IRA killing people and children being molested, and there you are. Every Catholic is a child-raping terrorist!

Valentine’s Day

This is a rant.  This is not a rant about Valentine’s Day.  This is a rant about people pissing on Valentine’s Day.

I’m not a typical romantic by any means, and honestly, February 14th fails to persuade me to join the mushy side no matter how much chocolate it offers. In fact, I even lean the opposite way and wonder why we need a holiday specifically for showing our swains how much we love them when it’s quite possible to show that every day — and without the need of flowers and candy. Well, maybe the candy.

No, I’m talking about the people who are bitter and angry that they can’t celebrate it. Yeah, it’s a bummer knowing that most of your friends, coworkers, and (*gulp*) parents will receive a nice dinner, red roses, and hot sex while you’re stuck with the Sad Single Special of a gallon of cheap ice cream, a Meg Ryan movie, and your hand. But you know what? It’s fucking annoying listening to someone whine, and if I’d have to choose between sitting next to a couple tongue-fondling each other’s tonsils or someone bitching about overcommercialization and the meaningless ritual of it all, I’d gladly take the fondlers.

Maybe they’d even let me in on some of their action.

Steve Wondercop and the Phantasm of Terror

Steve Wondercop and the Phantasm of Terror

 

30 Days of Night

Title: 30 Days of Night
Director: David Slade
Year Released: 2007
Rating: R

This movie sucked, plain and simple. And no, that wasn’t an intentional pun.

Warcraft: A Tale of Two Species

ELF: Oh God… Oh God…

*whisper, whisper*

Last night I had the pleasure of seeing No Country For Old Men with my parents. Unfortunately, my dad invited his friend Patrick along. Now, this man is probably the most obnoxious person on the face of the earth. Not only does he continually hit on me in front of my father, but he simply does not know how to shut up. He felt it necessary to make comments after every murder, every line. Now, I’m the type of person who is bothered with particularly loud laughter during movies, let alone entire conversations.

Why on earth do people think that the theater is their living room? They need to learn how to shut the fuck up, and let people enjoy their movie-going experience in peace. If you are one of these people, please do not take offense. Reform your ways, and you may survive the hatred of the lynch mob. Maybe.

Thank you, this has been a public service announcement from The Numbat. We now return you to your scheduled broadcasting.

Gordon Brown: Sexy PM or Sexiest PM?

So apparently “New Woman Magazine” thinks that Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, is one of the100 Sexiest Men, up there with Jonny Depp and Daniel Craig. I have to agree. I mean, look at him:

He is surely among the world’s sexiest men. He totally has the Scottish zombie look that chicks dig down completely.

But it got me thinking… What other national leaders could qualify? Which other politicians deserve to be listed amongst the world’s sexiest men (or women I guess, but there are about three female heads of government/heads of state). So, looking back at the year, I present: Poirot’s Political Love List 2007 (or PPLL07).

My Review of Amelie

This was a fantastic film. And after seeing Amelie, I can tell you that I have two wishes.

My Review of Matthew Reilly

Most people review books or movies. I shall be reviewing books in this one- specifically, the novels of Matthew Reilly, Australian author of logic-defying thrillers. And I’ll be reviewing him as a person too.

Okay, where to start…

Poking Fun at Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult

A review is forthcoming.

Blood and Chocolate (the movie)

Title: Blood and Chocolate, adapted from a YA novel by Annette Curtis Klause.
Rating: PG-13
Director: Katja von Garnier

Holy crap, this was a stinkbomb of a movie.

My Top 5 Hitchcock Moments

The top five moments in films made by Alfred Hitchcock, in my extremely humble opinion. Only cath is I can’t use the same movie twice.

Billy’s Grand Adventure (by Terry Goodkind)

Dear Publisher,

This is Terry Goodkind, the author of a fantasy series that isn’t a fantasy series. I have decided to try and branch out into kid’s picture books- what you have here is the final draft of Billy’s Grand Adventure! I hope you enjoy it. I have tried to convay many messages and themes in this kid’s book (but it’s not really a kid’s book). I drew the pictures myself!

– Terry Goodkind

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